Sunday 6 December 2009

task d draft1



Heading to Paris this Christmas
? Be sure not to miss out on the most famous cabaret in the world, Le Moulin Rouge.
Paris is famous for cabarets and no trip to this beautiful, historic city is complete without seeing one. So skip the rest and head straight to the best!

The Moulin Rouge has been bringing shows to audiences from across the globe since 1889. Situated on Boulevard de Chlicy, in the Pigalle area of the city it is close to the beautiful area of Montmatre, home of the Sacre Coeur{Sacred Heart} basilica. As you wonder through these quaint, winding streets, you will see our famous red windmill standing tall at the base of the hill.
Famous for introducing the world to the French cancan, the Moulin Rouge prides itself on bringing you a show full of breathe takingley beautiful dancers, hand picked from all over the world, as well as acrobats and clowns. No less 1000 costumes of feathers, rhinestones and sequins all hand made in the best Parisian workshop. Not to mention the outstanding sets designed by Italian artists just for the show. 80 musicians and 60 singers also recorded the 69 songs included in the show especially.
The current production “Feerie” is now showing so come along and see the show featuring the world renowned French CanCan and you are guaranteed a night of top class entertainment.

There are performances throughout the year nightly at 21h and 23h. and throughout the winter{November- march} on Sunday afternoons at 16h.

Why not join us our dinner and show package?

Dinner* at 19h, prepared by Laurent Tarridec, an award-winning chef. Entertainment while you dine by the Moulin Rouge orchestra and singers. Followed by the show at 21h.

Alternatively join us for our “champagne” show nightly at 23h.

*Menus vary in price.{A la carte also available}

Please see website for prices, full menu and booking information. Or visit our reservations desk situated in the theatre Foyer{Nearest metro Blanche}. Booking in advance is highly recommend as tickets on the door can not be guaranteed.

5 comments:

  1. Hello Tara!

    I really enjoyed reading about the Moulin Rouge. I went to Paris last New Year and of course the famous windmill was on my list of 'must see's' however i was quite disappointed when I was unable to buy tickets on the door. Maybe to improve your writing you could add something in near the beginning about booking rather than just the small print at the bottom. This may also help to encourage the reader to read on if they know that it is selling fast and a hit. I defiantly would have liked to have been informed this from a marketing piece of writing before i embarked on the Eurostar!!!

    I had a very clear picture of the Moulin Rouge from your descriptive writing, although I felt myself skipping information in the middle, maybe a little less information about what the show entails would work better as to keep the show a secret? Also you could think about the traits of descriptive writing describing all the different senses so that the reader feels like they are actually there.
    Just a thought,
    hope your well

    Rosina xxx

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  2. Thanks for your comments,
    I have taken your advise and omitted some of the details about the show and now i think the piece is stronger and more about the expierence of an evening there.
    I know it's annoying about the ticket situation at the Moulin, I haven't re worked that piece yet but when i do i might make more of the difficulty in getting tickets.

    Have a look at my 2nd draft if you have a chance.
    Maybe there are areas i could be more descriptive?

    I'm well, didn't see you at the campus session.
    Hope things are good.
    Tara.

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  3. Is this not your marketing piece Tara? Abbi

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  4. Yes it is.
    Rosina had commented on both styles in one blog.
    Tara.

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  5. Hello Tara, i have read your 2nd draft and yes I found myself much more indulged in this version. I didn't find myself skipping information in paragraphs as before. I think you have separated the information that is needed really well and now a perfect picture is drawn of the Moulin Rouge without too much information revealing the mystery of the famous caberet.

    I particularly like the 3rd paragraph as you have used each of the senses to describe the show and this paints an extended view of the Moulin Rouge rather than just what can be seen. Reading that paragraph I felt like i was there, completely the reason people write and read descriptive writing, to be taken somewhere they haven't been before.

    Well Done.

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